The word alone has the power to make something dark pour into our spirit. The stress, the expectations, the unreliability, the monotony. Work has been demonized, misused and underrated. Work is not rooted in hate, dismay, disdain or discomfort. It’s not only an end to a means, it is an experience. Something that takes root and in its power can light a spark or drown us from tip to toe.
Our relationship with our work has been mismanaged and misdirected. Coaxed into this tiny box with rules and expectations. Running around, climbing the corporate ladder. Or hiding in the bathroom on company time. All leave us heavy and disillusioned. Our relationship with work boils down to what’s in our control and what isn’t.
The need for a job in order to buy things that we need and want? Not directly in our control. The maintenance of our work life balance? Absolutely in our control. Societally, we’re under the impression that there are the lucky few with their dream careers and the rest of us? Lambs to the slaughter. What do we define as work? What do we do with the time that we do have to mold ourselves?
In my personal experience, the idea of a “perfect job”? Falls into line with anything else with the pressure of being perfect. It doesn’t exist. I’m happier with the idea that I’m flexible. I’m lucky to be in a place where the necessity blends well into following my own curiosities.
Being raised as an Afro Latina, there was a lot of pride and identity in working hard for what you want. Whether it’s love, or academia, or the professional space. We’re raised with the idea that if it comes easy, it’s usually not worth it. That the best things come when you work really for it.
Often watching our parents work full time well into “retirement”. Glorifying the hustle mentality. The millennial generation has watched our parents work hard for what they want. Discrediting the state of our nation or other defining factors that play huge roles in how our success pays off.
The difference between gratitude and distress is perspective. Have to do versus get to do. Yes, we may have to get to work on time and get A, B and C done. What do we get to do? Choose which task goes first. Which way we get it done. In which way we could reclaim our time. Once there’s this mindshift in place, time makes itself open and available. What we have to do gets done. We flow into what we want to do because what we need to do is approached through the lens of the end goal. Doing what we want to do.
We are constantly playing a thinking man’s game. Risk versus reward. The golden rule being the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. What if the risk is low and the reward is too? That’s where we start. When society pushes this all or nothing approach on us, it traps us in the cycle of a downward spiral. Is this reward big enough? Do I need to do something bigger for a better reward? Neither. It’s okay to build slowly. Building consistently grows things simultaneously, the famed compound effect. Little risk can have great rewards. We need to allow ourselves to trust in patience and our faith. Once we master the tiny steps, is exactly how we get to the bigger ones.
Not all work is created equal. There is “work” that drags on our heels and makes us heavy. Layering into us anxiety, doubt, and depression. There is work that is exciting, fulfilling and satisfying. Building our confidence, our intuition and our sense of being. When we start to pay attention the threads come into focus. Where we bring our attention is what shifts the balance of work. It’s harder and fruitless work to maintain a one sided relationship. Time flies when you let your mind rearrange the pieces and experiment. One thought can spark a dream career.
What we water will grow. What we starve will die. Our energy is powerful and potent. What bounces around in our heads reflects into the world around us. We need to be wary of “energy vampire” tasks that sap our energy like slugging away endlessly on Excel sheets. These tasks require vigilance. The lull of monotony will leave us at the end of the day not remembering the beginning.
We need to give our time away to what matters. Dedicate 5 minutes if it’s all we have. The only way to make progress is to have a place to start from. Track your progress, celebrate milestones. Motivation is icing but not the cake. Take breaks often enough that our eyes aren’t glazing over. If we pay attention we could feel this happening. Our bodies and minds lay it out in neon lights.
The only way to know is to do. There’s no one way to do it. Experiment. Get out of our comfort zones. Do something nobody may ever see. Reach out into the emptiness and see what you pull out. Growth happens when we get comfortable with this idea. Everything we know for certain has already happened to us. The leap of faith to work towards the life we want to live requires us to redefine our definition of work.
