Refer back to this article as much as you need to. You are more than the results of your actions. Nobody wins every time and the only way we set ourselves up for failing is by doing nothing at all. There’s more to be said about the anticipation of failure than the failure itself.
Failing
We won’t get it right every time. It will feel like the last nail in the coffin, every time. Why can’t we do anything right? That couldn’t be farther from the truth. It’s human nature to do everything in our power to not fail. We shy away from things we’ve dreamed of, solely on the basis that we will mess it all up. It’s no surprise that sometimes, we do. We’re going to fail, we’re going to mess up. Sometimes we’re going to do something really badly.
That doesn’t mean to stop trying all together. We brace so hard to fail that we’ve managed to condition ourselves to have a painful response. Even at the opportunity of failing. Leaving us in the same place we were yesterday, no matter how much we genuinely want better for ourselves.
Knowing we’re going to fail is the same concept of ripping off the bandaid. Instead of gingerly ripping out every hair around the bandaid, anguishing every moment. We need to rip it right off. Building our failing tolerance is similar to the idea of building up a pain tolerance. Sometimes it happens, worse than it ever has, an utter hot mess.
Day two (or six), we get back on the horse. What happened that day is that we learned a lot of what doesn’t work. Narrowing down the list of what could work. We are making progress. So, the more we try, the more we know.
Even if we fail, we still end up winning. We win experience and know how. We get better.
Getting up
We always get back up, right? A little rougher for wear but up and at ’em regardless. The thing we need to brace for is the fact that we are so emotionally delicate after a failure.
After we shoot ourselves in the foot, we’re walking limp. Every stumble is going to feel like we’re at the cusp of another disaster. Whether this is true or not is besides the point. Our focus should be on monitoring ourselves in how we approach the days ahead from a big failure. We aren’t fully ourselves and that’s okay.
We need to go into the next few days with the mindset that we are on the mend, so we need to prioritize our TLC. Double book self care time and don’t apologize for it. Don’t be overly apologetic for not being perfect.
We are still amazing people who get amazing things done.
Still kinda failing again
Some weeks, some months, just don’t feel like they’re ours. To leave it at that is only doing a disservice to ourselves. Even with wind in our sails, confident that we have to fail more to grow. Back to back, it tends to feel like the universe is setting us up to fail. Why is our life set on super hard mode?
What’s dearly missed here is a tweak in perspective. If the going is this rough, we need to focus on how bad ass we’re going to be at the other end of this. We adapt, we grow, and we become less rigid, the more comfortable we get with failing.
Suddenly we’re these adaptable ninjas who know how to take a hit on the chin and push through to the solution. We gain these traits slowly, and mostly invisibly. We are still winning.
It could be argued that we’re winning even faster.
Yesterday: https://medium.com/@sincerelyyoli/put-your-mask-on-first-f95edad0a795
Start here: https://medium.com/@sincerelyyoli/7-day-self-help-guide-quarantine-edition-start-here-9cba073c426c
